The birth of fierce

“Sometimes we are tested; not to put our vulnerabilities on display, but rather to reveal the fierce strengths that already burn within us.” - Angie Freese

It was New Year’s Day 2019, and - not one to shy away from an adventure - I came into this time of anticipation, fresh starts and opportunities with a true bang. Not exactly the adventurous bang I had hoped for, however, as I managed to slip and fall on my icy Minnesota driveway - in true Charlie Brown form, I might add. I went heels up and landed head first. My New Year’s Day was soon filled with the sounds of sirens and the smells of antiseptic as I was brought to the emergency room and diagnosed with a concussion. It wasn’t pretty. I was down for the count; under doctor’s orders to stay home, take a break from work, and, most importantly, rest my brain. After all, you only get one of those. 

As the consequences of my fall began to emerge, I simultaneously began to panic. First and foremost, I was panicking that I was panicking. I imagine that some of you can relate. Panic had not been a normalized state of mind for me, so my physical discomfort was now being matched with emotional anguish. I was panicking as a single mom. Panicking that I had so much to do at the office. Panicking that the world would spin every time I changed position. Panicking that I wasn’t going to outlast these symptoms and get back to my normal self. Panicking about laundry and groceries and cleaning my house. Panicking that I wasn’t going to be okay. Panicking that I needed to ask for help.

About two weeks into my recovery, however, my panic began to ease into calm. Some places that had been hidden by the shadows now shone bright with a renewed sense of hope. A few different elements contributed to that shift in my emotional steadiness and rejuvenation. I don’t believe that I was supposed to get hurt that New Year’s Day. But I do believe this injury opened my eyes and ears to a clear message about my personal and professional rhythm that I had been blindly disregarding. I was distracted from a path that would lift my unique gifts and talents and virtuosities, and instead was currently on a trajectory that had the potential to break me. To strip me of my tenacious spirit and squeeze what was left into someone else’s mold. I was operating in a space where I was asked to hide and ignore the beautifully imperfect and authentic parts of who I was. As this concussion forced me to hit the “reset” button in many areas of my life, I was able to take a fierce look at where I was and where I was heading. It became clear that a change was needed. And a force inside me took hold.

I first realized that I was tired of being tired. Tired of relationships that focused on what could be taken rather than what could be shared. Tired of being devalued by neighbors who questioned how a single mom could afford to build a house rather than presuming that my strong work ethic and financial responsibility enabled me to design the space that we now call home. Tired of the drama at work. Tired of the lack of collaboration and shared commitment and especially tired of the bureaucracy. I was also tired of being scared. I knew I was not done learning. I was not done contributing to my field nor was I done giving in service to my community. I realized that if I didn’t find a way to control these feelings of fatigue, my flame was going to burn out completely. 

Remember earlier when I mentioned a force that took hold? Well, now it punched me square in the gut. As I reflected on how I might begin to overcome all the “tired”, this punch was the realization that I - yes, I - had become my own worst enemy. I was letting others, particularly other women, rewrite my narrative. To let me slip into a place where I was questioning my value. Questioning my worth. Questioning my intellect and talent. Questioning my heart. 

“Our work is to get to the place where we like ourselves and are concerned when we judge ourselves too harshly or allow others to silence us. The wilderness demands this level of self-love and self-respect.” - Brené Brown

Though slowed momentarily, this new awareness was refreshing. Rather than feeling weighed down, I instead began to feel bold. Calm. Courageous. Empowered. Ready to transform the problematic organizational and societal cultures by steadying myself to renew the adults who could resolve them. It was time to turn the page and start my next chapter, one in which I would be surrounded by a circle of support, encouragement, and love.

“And one day, she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.” - Mark Anthony

So what started as a simple idea to bring some of my closest female colleagues together to tackle the common challenges and barriers we face as women quickly grew into an urgent calling. My desire to connect bold, real, and authentic women I knew across the city was filling a void that - unbeknownst to me - each individual woman had been craving. A need to be recognized and valued. A need to empower and be empowered. A need to spend more time with women whose actions aligned with their words; women who were clear about their beliefs and unapologetically took steps to live those beliefs to the fullest. A need to have another woman in her corner.

I began from a place of grace and belonging. Grace from being our own worst enemies. Grace from apologizing for our good work, from not taking a chance, from not standing up to inequities or injustices, and grace from our own fear of what might happen if we put ourselves out there and expose our true selves. I was inspired to create a space of belonging where women could lift each other up instead of being torn down by the “crab bucket” mentality that permeates the cultures in which we work or lead our families or among the social media in which we are immersed. I was inspired to create a space of belonging in which we could celebrate our gifts, talents, and vulnerabilities in ways that enable us to show up each day to be seen, and represent the genuine and authentic versions of who we were born to be. 

And so began FIERCE. A place grounded in grace and belonging where women are Fearlessly Inspiring Empowerment, Resilience, Courage, and being Enough. 

The truth is that some days I’m still scared. Some days I let the words or actions of others sneak through my armor and hurt me. But now I can find clarity, comfort, and courage in the stories of authenticity from other women who, like me, approach each new day one step at a time.

“She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared, but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.” - Atticus

We are so honored to have you walk this journey alongside us. 

Welcome to your revolution. Let’s do this.

In fierce authenticity,

Angie